1) Visitor: Is there any chance the Strawberry Moon will suck us all off the face of the earth while we’re up there?
Me: Well, it is also Friday the 13th, so you have to ask yourself if you want to take that chance.
2) Husband: Is this where I cash in my ticket to Orlando?
Me: Only if you take me with you. (pause, looking to his wife standing next to him…) I hope that wasn’t inappropriate.
Wife: Not at all, we’ll gladly take you!
(They were an older couple in town visiting their daughter and son-in-law, and had tickets for the last tour at 9 PM. They had been waiting through a crazy-wind-and-tiny-bit-of-rain storm and a medical emergency to get inside. I was tired and a little punchy…)
3) Supervisor Sandy Tennyson: How was your day today?
Me: It was crazy. But fun. I’m just insane enough to enjoy being here.
Sandy: Well, we appreciate your insanity!
4) Student: Can I climb the stairs?
Student: Well I’m going to.
Me: Well you can’t.
Student: I’m going to break through the door and climb the stairs.
Me: Do you want to be arrested?
Student: My teacher would bail me out.
Teacher: Don’t be so sure about that…